Book Review: All of It by Kim Holden

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I hate you Kim Holden! Like hate hate – I love you. Why do you always write beautifully written painful novels? I couldn’t even move on from Bright Side when I read it last couple of years and I was in tears, like, a lot and I couldn’t help to continue reading Gus when it was released. I thought that Keller should be the title of your next book before Gus, but no, you really did a great job on writing it and making me feel like I was in love and afterwards I am broken that I can feel his devastation with his music. I don’t even forget the time when Kate and Gus were writing and recording and writing and composing their music all at once and when I went beyond Gus, I was in pain, in tears and I don’t know what to do, as if, I wanted to stop on reading because the feels is drowning me and it is so overwhelming that I wanted to breathe or should I continue and go on and go deep further and be drown by the feelings and emotions and thoughts of the character. You are probably wondering why I am writing this, well it is because, yes I can’t move on and I don’t think I will ever be on Bright Side and Gus – and probably they will stay on my heart because you, Kim Holden, has this kind of writing that can even the simple melody and lyrics and emotions of a music can be heard and feel.

I am currently reading All of It by hers truly, and I couldn’t fathom the fact that I was in pain like right now and things going on my mind and I don’t know what to do or what to expect about this book. I don’t want to feel ugly on inside when I’m reading this but I would assume unless it was stated. I believe that Kim Holden will always put pain on her novels because that’s what makes us us, right? Without the pain, we wouldn’t appreciate the pleasures that we are taking granted for. I’m just writing this because I can’t accept what is happening right now on the book. Well, yeah. It hurts so much that I wanted to cry. I’m putting a brave act right now, so don’t even try to give me all the feels that will drive me into tears.

*****

What the hell?! After a loss is another loss and when you start on finding yourself, you are lost in the process. Died. Died. Died. There are so much death, lost, longing and moving on but how? How will I tolerate this? I am writing this because I freaking don’t know. I am sad because of the existing events of this book. I hate you Kim Holden! How am I supposed to move on from the first and now, there’s a second? What’s next? This is so beautiful and painful at the same time. The love is pure and tragically magical. Why do you have to kill someone before they says that they love that person? Why do you have to do that? Why? It hurt so much that I am crying while typing this. Deep inside, I want to scream, to loathe you but I can’t because I am holding on to your words. That yes, there is pain but eventually it will subside.

*****

Kim Holden! You never fail to rip my heart out. I am not expecting anything in your book other than pain.

*****

This review has been on my drafts ever since, I just gotten the time to post this today!

My ratings: 4 freaking magically painful stars!

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